The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

05:40 Apr 27 2016
Times Read: 550

Chocolate soy, a handful of raspberries, a couple of ice cubes and 1.5 bananas.

Incredible. :|



I was worried about the chocolate soy milk not coming through, and wondering if I should melt a square or two of dark chocolate and add that, too, but nope - this is perfect.

05:24 Apr 27 2016
Times Read: 552

The volunteering I did last week was amazing. I offered to do it again in a month - well, same people, different activities this time. I'll be doing manual labour. We'll see if I'm strong enough to deal with 6 hours of digging and hammering and sawing in the sun. I'll probably be okay, though I couldn't handle stairs a couple of days ago. I think I'm getting an upper respiratory chest infection, again. I've got a cough that comes on with physical activity and it's pretty gross.



I discovered last night that my cat loves banana chips, but they're too hard for him to crunch, so he licks them until they're soggy, then puts his paws on them, then licks the flavour off of his paws.

It's so cute. ♥_♥



I feel... comfortable on VR again. I haven't for years. I feel so different. I'm glad I deleted all my journals - 5 years worth of entries, I deleted, and I am glad.



I'm testing out smoothie combinations and it's fantastic. Yesterday I had apricot and peach soy yoghurt, cashew-almond milk, frozen mango chunks and tinned peaches (with ice). It was so good.

Today I am thinking frozen raspberries, chocolate soy milk and a banana.

22:43 Apr 16 2016
Times Read: 570

I volunteered some time today - due to bad Facebook functionality, I only got the memo at 12.30am. Sigh. Freaking Facebook. I said I'd be in there soon... but they haven't seen my AND AS I TYPE THIS, THEY SEE IT. HAH. Oh thank god.

... but it's been 5 minutes and still no reply?

They sleepy.



Gah. It's so cold. I hope they reply soon. I'm cold and I've been up for an hour now.

04:49 Apr 15 2016
Times Read: 591

I still haven't finished Fallout New Vegas. There's so many options and choices that I can't fully make my mind up on whether to continue several questlines, since all impact the end result, so I'm considering going "Fuck you, Boomers, screw you, NCR, adios, Brotherhood of Steel, gtfo, Caesar's Legion, goodbye, Mr. House..." and doing the Lonesome Road DLC ending.

I'm currently doing Old World Blues, and I'm not enjoying it. I'm really not. I've been slogging through it for weeks, now, and I'm really fed up. I'm at the stage where I'm off to kill Mobious, but have so few health supplies. Gah. I died and can't be bothered redoing wherever I was at.

04:35 Apr 15 2016
Times Read: 594

Okay, I regret that.



In other news... I need more kibble for Mocha, it's cold here, and I'm cold. I'm dreading winter. I need to buy another comforter, a thicker, fluffier one.

I'm so sick of seeing petty women over the age of 25 continually picking at people on this website. Grow up. You're not in middle-school, and being an asshole to everyone on here doesn't impress anyone but the bunch of equally toxic, cesspit-dwelling 'friends' you have on here. Being nice to people is not hard. Step back, re-evaluate your priorities in life (is it REALLY worth calling a CHILD a slut on the internet? Is THAT how you want your life to be? Getting offended by every small amount of breasts that you see?). The internalised misogyny, the body-shaming, the sex-shaming, the "STD" 'jokes' - how is that funny? What makes an STD any more funny than any other illness? Is Alzheimers funny? Is cancer funny? No? So shut the fuck up - STDs can be contracted many ways, and they're not funny. They can lead to cancers (HPV, for one, which is extremely aggressive and leads to full or partial hysterectomy at the least) and many other nasty, nasty illnesses. Like, go you, you're picking on people online who cannot/will not fight back! Woo! You're a champion! It's sad when those people literally would not dare to say such things to people in the streets - but because they have a screen between them, they detach normal inhibitions and let lose a stream of vile and vitriol that would, in any real setting, cause them to lose their jobs, family, friends and all respect people had for them.

I really want some food, but I don't know what exactly. I think there's vegan lasagne in town... if I can get there. I hope it's not vegetarian. That'd be disappointing as heck. The same place now also does vegan coffee. I'm not a fan of the beans they use, but hey - it's better buying from a place that specifically caters only for vegans and vegetarians (no meat or things like rennet sold in the store at all) rather than ordering coffee elsewhere and accidentally being given milk, and then vomiting my guts up (or worse) for days after because of my lactose intolerance.

Today I feel less like crap, although I'm kinda annoyed that I didn't get to go do things I wanted to do. Maybe tomorrow... or Sunday? Sunday is market-day. That could be fun. Gah. I need to buy cat food.

I'm cranky and tired and cold. I really want coffee. Coffee fixes almost everything.

05:27 Apr 09 2016
Times Read: 611

Yellow dahl... oh my gosh, so yummy. I've not been very well lately, but that... mhm. That was gooood. I am looking forward to having time alone tonight, where I shall squander that precious time by... sleeping. Heh. I may go sleep now.

This is what I edited out of my last entry. I like the idea of returning to NZ and eloping. It'd take so much pressure off of me, relating to families and attendance and costs and so much more. I'd be more than open to having another service in the US, but NZ... would be lovely. It'd make me so freaking happy. There's even services to make it happen in NZ (for elopements). Lately I really want to get married. There's a service in Christchurch that provides two witnesses and will meet wherever you want. They can even arrange a photographer. God, it'd fix so many issues with visas and applications and so much. Like I don't even care about engagement and rings and stuff. There's plain wedding bands for like $250, or cheaper.

13:41 Apr 08 2016
Times Read: 632

There's a mental list of things I always go through when people hit on me. It's fairly long. Heh.



All in all, it just serves to make me miss Dylan. Against distance, love prevails. That sounds so corny. Hahahah. ♥ I was looking at the loveliest dresses today. I would love something dusky lavender, light mint green or light yellow.

Heh. ♥

It's also fairly... I don't know. While I was excited at first, I got a bit upset in the end.



















I've had such a long week. SUCH a long week. I'm proud of my small achievements.

Hopefully tomorrow I can get new tea. There's a choc-mint tea that I'm hoping is vegan, and delicious.

01:26 Apr 08 2016
Times Read: 644

Weird realisation prompted by a message - I haven't uploaded a photo on here in about three years, since I got ill.

Irony - being more confident while being double the weight I am currently - crippling self-conciousness when lighter.

Oh brain, you make no sense.



I'm tired. I woke up to my kitty snuggled in the crook of my arm, purring and slowly licking himself.

03:36 Apr 07 2016
Times Read: 658

I am kind of sad that IS is a ghost-town, but at the same time, it's one of the original charms of the place.



I was a nervous wreck last night. I've since calmed way down, but still, it was so bad. Hopefully I sleep really, really well tonight, and the previous fears aren't swarming me. I only got about 6 hours of sleep, which is a lot, really, but it was so broken that it feels like I slept for no more than 3 hours.

But it's all okay. I'll be sleeping happily, warmly, tonight - because on top of drowning in worry, I was also freeeeezing cold last night. My toes would. not. warm. up.

Gah. I have a heat-pack, so I'll use it tonight if I have to.

I can't wait to go to bed early, warm and happy.

00:39 Apr 06 2016
Times Read: 673

I got a new piercing yesterday, the first one in three years.

I slept on it last night with very little pain, which surprised the HECK out of me. I expected blood, ickness, soreness, redness at the least... nada.

Go me.



I discovered a HUGE amount of vegan food at a supermarket yesterday, one town over. I am hopefully going back there today. There's food there that I wouldn't mind trying, and I really didn't get a good enough look - only small sections of an enormous store. Hopefully I can shop there more often. There was very little Quorn there. Heck yes. ;o

Blasted Quorn.

So hopefully I can go back there today.



I feel better today. A lot more positive.

Hello darkness, my old friend.
04:39 Apr 02 2016
Times Read: 696


I've come to talk with you again.

Because a vision softly creeping,

Left its seeds while I was sleeping,

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence.



I'm so tired all the time.

I think it's anxiety

and the innate desire to be left undisturbed.

I'm so happy with Dylan, so happy with my cat.

I don't like being around many others.

I feel like... I'm getting yick again.

Swallowed by the consumption of consumption.

If that makes sense.



In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone,

'Neath the halo of a street lamp,

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence.



I don't know what to do half of the time.

I may be starting nursing again.

I may be able to directly jump into Midwifery.

I may be moving again. Who knows. It depends

on what I decide to study, when, and where.

I'm excited for anything that's more.

I used to get really perturbed over how often I was

changing my mind in areas of study. I feel like I've

only now really got the desire to stick to something.

Even though I DID stick to something last year, and

I've got qualifications. Official papers. Go me.

But I want more. Higher levels. I think I'll be just fine.

I know I'm ever-changing, so I try not get upset about

... you know, the changing. It's normal. Natural.

I've got oddles of time. I can learn anything and

everything I want to. I can change and choose.

Speaking of which, I want to continue French,

in case I ever decide to work for MSF.



And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more.

People talking without speaking,

People hearing without listening,

People writing songs that voices never share

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence.



My side hurts.

I've finished reading a book.

It took me a week to read roughly 450 pages.

But I finished it, and I'll start reading the next, soon.

I'm pleased with myself for even this small accomplishment.

I'm going to try read other books, soon.

I think I'll try finish one a week, even if it's just to give me

something to occupy my time, something ELSE to think on.



"Fools," said I, "You do not know.

Silence like a cancer grows.

Hear my words that I might teach you.

Take my arms that I might reach you."

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence



I'm in a bit of a droll mood,

which is probably pretty apparent,

given the intermittent lyrics.

I had a bit of a snap, yesterday, and it's still tainting me.

Thoughts, actions, words, mood.

I've decided to go sans traitement,

and we'll see how that goes.

I feel really naughty, for that, but it'll be okay.

I fervently believe it'll work out for the best.



And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made.

And the sign flashed out its warning

In the words that it was forming.

And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

And tenement halls

And whispered in the sounds of silence."



Sometimes I feel like Deadpool, heh.

"It'll be okay."

(No it won't)

"Trust me, do iiiiit!"

(Don't, it's dangerous, you know this)

"You'll feel better for it."

(No, you really won't.)

"You're not strong enough, anyway."

(... Hey, wait a minute, yes I am.)

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT"

(... what did I just agree to? Oh crap...)

I absolutely loved seeing Deadpool with Dylan. ♥

I loved seeing it TWICE with him. Heh.

And Star Wars. ♥

Jesus, we had so much fun. I miss him so much.

He's absolutely gorgeous.

VR, you don't know the extent of how magnificent he is.

I feel so freaking lucky, so loved, every day.

He already made me feel like I had won some prize...

and then I stood next to him, looked at him

blushed

blushed some more

and somehow, even though I didn't think it was possible

considering how happy he already made me,

I felt like... I was going to crumble to pieces in sheer joy.

Seeing him for the first time was... life-affirming.

It was just what I needed, as he's perfect for me.

He's kind and caring and funny and his LAUGH, oh my god.

His laugh. ♥



There. I've cheered myself up with memories

of the indisputably best time of my life.